Saturday, April 11, 2009

Rule No.1: Begin to embarrass your children as early as possible

It will give you a clear head start against the stress, hell and angst they will cause during adolescence.

This is the "money shot" for No.2... Any guesses before the official announcement is made?

Or as my friend Debbie so poetically and graphically put it, perhaps in honoring the start of baseball season, "Do you see the cheeseburger or the hot dog?"


And in other sport related news, it was opening day for Potty Training season. Rookie K.A. Walsh shows definite promise. The will is there, now we just have to work on the aim.

Clearly, she takes after her father.

Which brings to mind a joke... A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The doctor says, "Clearly I can see you're nuts."

And finally, a picture of the smiling face of what is clearly the alien life-form residing in my uterus.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Bit by the Horse of Good Luck

Before starting our weekend review, I'll say that I am well again and feeling great. Even feeling a little baby doing 'it's' daily calisthenics. Once you feel the baby moving around each day, the reality of the situation sinks in fast- but that's a story of excitement and absolute fear for another day.

Saturday we went to
Nore Valley Open Farm in Bennettsbridge, Co. Kilkenny. It's a great family run farm with animals that visitors can pet and feed. They had sheep with their lambs, goats, deer, geese, the world's ugliest turkey, and bunnies you could hold.

Katie, though afraid of most of the animals, was enamored with the birds and has perfected her "gobble, gobble, gobble". The weather was nice; cool breeze but blue skies and a warm sun. In an ongoing attempt to win me over to the Irish-side, Manus commented frequently on how "we wouldn't be doing this in Miami..." As our visit ended in altercation with an ill-tempered Shetland, I concurred with Manus that this could be available in Miami but for one word; "Litigation". That fecking bastard of a pony (hereto forth referred to as a 'Shitland Pony') reached out it's plaque-ridden maw and clamped down on Katie's calf like a Hungry, Hungry Hippo chomping on a baby-pink marble. Little turd didn't break skin, but left a mark. I've documented it here for the future lawsuit.
The Grand National horse race was also held on Saturday and the In-laws, as most red-blooded Irishmen, placed their bets with the bookies. Picking the right horse comes from hours of arduous study, pouring over stats, considering expert predictions, weighing the stakes and odds and finally choosing your winner by how much you like the horse's name. (duh)

Nana picked out a horse for Katie based on the similarity of the the name to her great-grandma's; Mon Mome, the 100-1 long-shot, was Katie's horse because it sounds so much like our "Mum-mum".

The headline on Guardian.co.uk soon after the race reads, "First 100-1 winner in 42 years takes 12-length victory". Mon Mome won Katie over $850.00!! (And that on a 5 euro bet)


Sunday I went to Carlow to meet up with the American gals again. This was our third lunch together. Somehow when we get together, time goes by so much faster and before we know it, five hours have passed and we've discussed everything under the sun from politics to religion to men to culture and beyond. Yesterday we talked our fair share of babies too, as we had an impromptu baby shower for one of the girls, Michelle. The Irish don't do baby showers, but dammit, we do! They also typically don't find out the sex of the baby before birth. But dammit! we do - when the baby cooperates. Michelle's hasn't so we covered all bases:


(l-r) Laura, Helena, Candi, me, Michelle, Carrie

I want to thank Carrie for hosting a great party and apologize again for leaving her with a mountain of dirty dishes! Thanks Michelle for staying and helping with the clean-up after (talk about the best guest of honor!). Claire was missing from the soiree as she just had her baby boy. We haven't spoken to her yet, but her due date was in March so we assumed... We missed you, Claire and hope all is well. Laura came to meet us for the first time. She lives with her family in Co. Clare and made the 2.5 hour drive to Carlow. She must have heard that Carrie was making her amazing Lemon pie! I hope she feels like she has made some new friends from her old country...
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Candi lives in Waterford and had come to the last lunch as well. She and I have a lot in common - first and most important, we are both Gators. nuff said. Friends for life. But also, she has a daughter nearly Katie's age and is pregs with no. 2. We're talking plans for beach trips this summer and playdates in the park playground. I hope we really get to do those things, cause I do think she and I could be good friends. Plans were made for lunch this Wednesday with Michelle and Helena. Hopefully Candi and her daughter will come up to Kilkenny too.
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Tomorrow we have our big ultrasound appointment. As long as our kid cooperates and bares all, we will find out if we are having a boy or a girl. In deference to our family here, I will not be announcing anything until after we have told our kin in person on Sunday. (i.e.- look for blog on Monday).
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Busy week and new friends... and I've learned; Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Things Are Different Here (p. IIII)...

When you are sick...

These last two weeks I've been on my death bed. And not the nice "here's your morphine drip" kind. More like the kind when you are riding on a horse and it gets spooked and bucks you off only your foot is still stuck in the stirrup so the horse is dragging you through your mother's rock and cactus garden and your head is bouncing off the ground and you are getting a mouth full of dirt and when you do finally get free the doctor sees you and says, "well, geez, looks bad but, you can only take tylenol because. you. are. pregnant."

Only tylenol isn't tylenol in Ireland. It's not even acetaminophen. Its paracetamol. And they protect it like it's crack. I wasn't even allowed to buy two boxes at the same time. They were only ten pill packs! There is an over-the-counter medication containing paracetamol and codeine and purchase is limited to one box per person - because of the paracetamol!

Some things are better here. When you get an appointment for eleven, the doctor sees you AT ELEVEN. The doctor walks to the waiting room to call you in, takes your temperature himself and then sits there and listens to you. Crazy. But true.