Rule No.1: Begin to embarrass your children as early as possible

It will give you a clear head start against the stress, hell and angst they will cause during adolescence.

This is the "money shot" for No.2... Any guesses before the official announcement is made?

Or as my friend Debbie so poetically and graphically put it, perhaps in honoring the start of baseball season, "Do you see the cheeseburger or the hot dog?"

And in other sport related news, it was opening day for Potty Training season. Rookie K.A. Walsh shows definite promise. The will is there, now we just have to work on the aim.

Clearly, she takes after her father.

Which brings to mind a joke... A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The doctor says, "Clearly I can see you're nuts."

And finally, a picture of the smiling face of what is clearly the alien life-form residing in my uterus.