Monday, July 27, 2009

Getting Ready for Baby

As we approach the 36 week mark, we are in full-gear Getting Ready For Baby! Well, not quite. Unless you count my inability to sleep longer than 1.5 hours practice for the early days' feeding schedule. Really, I don't need or want the practice. But my sore hips, full bladder and a pleasant, new edition head cold say otherwise.

I haven't packed a hospital bag. I haven't washed, ironed and sorted by size and color and style the baby clothes. I haven't sterilized the bottles and pacifiers. I haven't practiced my breathing. I have had daily anxiety attacks and a couple of complete meltdowns a la pre-post-partum depression. And I have just spent the last 3 hours cleaning the first floor of any and all reminders that we ever had two cats. Hallelujah those two furballs are gone. Off to the farm. Out of my house. I vowed as a child never to be as mean and heartless as my parents were about the "no pets in the house" rule. Alas, another promise to myself I will have to break. Until our live-in maid comes, no more 4 legged creatures shall grace my doorstep.

My first chore after doing the Dance of Joy as I watched Manus drive away with Black One and Brown One was to wipe up 3 hairball vomits and 2 plops of diarrhea from the tile. Then I attacked the spot on the chair that someone used as a urinal.

I have come to terms with the fact that I am soon to be responsible for 3/4ths of the ass wiping and episodes of fecal incontinence that will go on in this house and I think that is enough. In fairness, Manus had been on litter box patrol these last few weeks as I held strong to that whole "toxoplasmosis ploy" but I risked health and well-being today to ensure a thorough clean.

I went through two vacuum filters on my mission to rid the house of cat hair. There was more black pussy hair on the living room chairs than in the dumpster behind a Brazilian waxing studio the Wednesday morning after a Twofer Tuesday special.

Eww! How crass was that? Cleaning is a dirty, dirty job and it brings out the worst in me. It's a good thing I don't do it very often.

But I will say this, I was busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. (That's just one of my favorites and I wanted to add it in..)

The cats did teach us a valuable lesson - we must keep Katie away from baby. Watching her carry around the cats in a vice-grip headlock made me fear for the safety of my unborn. It may have been the day I saw her immobilizing kitty with a knee to the neck that I had my first panic attack. Having watched too many Criminal Minds, I know that serial killers often begin life as animal tormentors. We are watching Katie closely for any other antisocial tendencies.

My mom sent over a "I'm a Big Sister" book that we read every day, stressing the parts about how we have to be gentle with the baby and can only hold baby on our lap in a chair with adult supervision. In fairness, Katie is very excited. She knows that baby Michael is in mommy's belly and she is looking forward to helping change nappies and being a "great big sister". She gives my belly kisses and doesn't let us forget to "god bless baby Michael" during our nighttime prayers. Man I love that girl and she is going to FLIP OUT... I just know it.

Second child syndrome is so severe that I'm not even interested in shopping for baby boy clothes. But, thanks to the International Aid package from "Mothers for the Reduction Of Clothes-less Kids" (aka MOMS.R.O.C.K.), Baby is well on the way to a full closet. He already has Gator gear and his daddy got him Kilkenny Cats PJs. Nana slipped me another 50 quid to get some onesies (called "vests" here) and other newborn accoutremon as I see fit. Taking inventory of what we have already really is on my list of things to do this week. And packing that hospital bag... Have a doctor's appt tomorrow. Must get from them list of necessary items. Things are different here (and a blog post to that end is in the works) and the hospital doesn't supply you with stuff like diapers and wipes here like they do in the states. My MIL was talking about how she had to bring her own egg in for breakfast. I must confirm that's no longer true.

I have been feverishly searching the net for the best double stroller options and have decided that Phil & Teds is the way to go. Broke the news to my parents that they were the lucky ones to provide us with such a gift and its hefty price tag. Of course, I want the latest and greatest Vibe model, but am starting to consider accepting the cheaper Sport version. If anyone has any thoughts on double strollers, I welcome advice and comments.

My mom got her plane tickets for her trip over to help with the baby. She will be here Sept 8th-19th. Problem is, baby could be here AUGUST 8th... No scheduled C-section is such an inconvenience! What was I thinking? Even worse, Manus is booking his flight for a week-long series of Miami business meetings. He will leave on Friday.

Provided Manus is IN TOWN for the birth of our child, he is planning, ever the technophile, to Twitter the birth information. That's right... If you want to be a part of every grunt, groan and four-letter word of labor and delivery... then this is for you! I have to look up the particulars and will blog soon on how to sign up to "follow me on twitter.."

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