Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I Stumbled Upon Stumbleupon

Have you heard of this "StumbleUpon"? It is a pretty cool internet tool. You list your interests and hobbies and then hit the stumbleupon key in your browser toolbar and voila! random websites pop up, exclusively for you, based on your profile.

So I'd like to know what it means that the first five sites that popped up for me were:
  1. A blog entry about a guy who is having an affair and wants a divorce.
  2. A page titled "Why can't I own a Canadian?"
  3. How to trick someone into saying I AM SOFA KING WEE TODD IT out loud in a bar.
  4. A blog in which the last entry was about fencing and the one before was about the tooth fairy.
  5. A "This page cannot be displayed. Check your settings" error message

What does that say about my interests?

I suppose I should reconsider listing cancer, child-rearing, alcohol and agnosticism together in my profile. Someone might think Im a weirdo...

The the real question is why didn't it show me this blog? Hello?! I mean, what is my blog about if its not all about me and my life and things I find interesting or worth of retelling? If this search tool was so good, wouldn't it add up all my interests and spit back out my own words? Pi-sha!

Conversely, what would one have to list as their interests in order for StumbleUpon to toss out this site for browsing consideration? I shudder to think... C'mon, I have FIVE posts talking about poop.

I did come across some cool sites though...

Cool optical illusions. Check out the one called "rotating silhouette pirouette" - then tell me which way she is turning, I am doing a scientific experiment. http://www.scientificpsychic.com/graphics/

Completely useless but fun psychology tricks. http://www.blifaloo.com/info/index.php

This site is SOOO me: "Funny Accident Photos" File under: WTF! http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/accident/

A list of phobias. This is a must-have for hypochondriacs and neurotics alike (again, StumbleUpon has me pegged) http://www.phobiaguide.com/

And as always, a smattering of super funny, culturally insensitive jokes...

A pregnant woman gives birth to twin boys, but circumstances force her to give them up for adoption. One of the twins goes to an Egyptian family, which names him Amal, while the other goes to a Spanish family, which names him Juan. Many years later, the grown-up Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she is moved to tears. Between sobs, she says to her husband: “Oh, how I wish I had a photo of Amal as well.” Unmoved, her husband replies: “But my dear, they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Stevie Wonder was playing his first ever gig in Tokyo and the venue was absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asked if anyone would like him to play a request.
A little old Japanese man jumped out of his seat in the first row and shouted at the top of his voice, “Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!”.
Amazed that the little oriental man knew about the jazz influences in Stevie’s varied career, the blind virtuoso went into a difficult jazz melodyfor about 10 minutes.
When he finished the whole place went wild - but the little old man jumped up again and shouted “No, no, play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord”.
Slightly annoyed, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dived straight into a jazz improvisation with his band and really tore the place apart. The crowd went wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.
The little old man jumped up again. “No, no, NO. Play a Jazz chord, a jazzchord!!”.
Well and truly pissed off that this little bloke didn’t seem to appreciate his playing ability, Stevie said to him from the stage “OK smart ass, you get up here and do it!”
The little old Japanese man man climbed nervously onto the stage, took hold of the mike, faced the huge audience and started to sing….
” A jazz chord to say a ruv yoo…”

-A man is speeding down a narrow mountain road, when a woman comes hurtling round the corner. He swerves to avoid her, but as she passes she leans out the window and screams 'PIG!' Astonished, the man turns and yells back, 'BITCH!' as he reaches the bend and crashes into a pig.

-A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky."
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him."No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."

-I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me..."Oi, whats your disability?"I said, "Tourettes! now fuck off you cunt!"

-This Chinese chap goes into a bank to change some currency, after receiving his money he asks "How come I came in here with same amount of money as yesterday but today I get less yuans in return?"The banker says "Fluctuations"
The Chinese guy replies... "Fluck you Blitish too".

This comes as no surprise, but
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2 comments:

Clodagh said...

LOL

XXX

Kristy Hajimihalis said...

Our rotating pirouette girl is turning clockwise. And MAN do my eyes hurt! But I definitely just killed like an hour on this site - thanks, Mali!