Monday, June 2, 2008

mein fehler. mon erreur. mea culpa.

Oops. I am just so red in the face. I've been so excited all weekend because today is June's Skank Holiday Monday. I've had my feet up, just sitting around eating bon-bons. So imagine my embarrassment when while listening to the radio, I heard today is June Bank Holiday Monday. Oops is right! I thought, well, I'm not a bank! What am I doing just lounging around? So pardon me for the lateness of today's entry as I was caught a little bit off guard.

Just a little recap of the weekend's events for those of you who are interested in something like that. I've realized that reading other people's blogs is really good for the voyeur in me. It's a socially acceptable way of peeking into the private lives of others. Sadly, my private life is somewhat dull and this weekend was completely G rated. Wait.. come to think of it... Friday night might have been just a bit PG-13. But honey, NOTHING like my friend Cedar and the stories that she has to tell. In the retelling of her outrageous, provocative, never-to-disappoint lifestyle I have found myself blushing, shivering, quivering, and even regurgitating a bit of my lunch whilst reading her blog.

How do I get so off target sometimes? Our weekend:

Friday night...can't remember. I think that was the night that I did a really bad impression of chicken divan and we had to rinse the taste out of our mouths with a second bottle of wine. Fast forward to Saturday, we went out to Desart to meet Brian and Bronwyn and paint the wall surrounding the in-law's yard. It really wasn't as much fun as you are probably thinking. But, with three of us working and Katie (and Bronwyn) getting covered in mud, we were done quickly. At one point I looked to my left and 14 bullocks (male castrated cows) were standing in the field staring at me. Then I looked to my right and there was another bovine eunuch convention in that field. They say that cattle are dumb animals but holy cow (ahem...) They really are. And if one moves toward you, they all follow and they stand there staring with drool and snot mixing and running off their chins and the bottom half of them is caked with mud and dung and then you hear a sudden gush and you see that one of them is peeing with amazing force and there's invariably another one lapping it up midstream. When they compare a downpour of rain with 'a cow pissing on a flat rock', they know of what they speak!. But you get this crowd of cattle heads just staring at you and I swear you can see the little cartoon bubble over their heads saying "duhhh" but I always think of them as my little congregation and that I should preach to them. Im not trying to be sacrilegeous or anything, but ask Manus, I invariably lift my arms up and say, "Listen now my flock, for I bear bad tidings of your future!"

I think I have blogging ADHD..

Saturday. Anyway, left the farm, got cleaned up and met Manus' cousin Mary, husband Tom, son Oisin and sister-in-law Olive for lunch. Time out for mom-brag moment. We were in the middle of a crowded bar/restaurant and Oisin, being a completely typical 1.5 year old boy was running around trying to put banana peels into stranger's open purses and Tom and Mary had to take turns running after him and my darling Katie was as calm and content as, well, something really calm and content sitting on my lap eating puffs. Girls rule! But the fun conversation we had over lunch was our names. See, Mary Walsh married Tom Marry. So even beyond the wedding announcement tongue twister of Mary married Marry (if only it'd been on a monday in may) she is now Mary Marry. I think fondly of Paula Paula and Steve Stevens. But Olive says, well, imagine growing up with Marry for a last name and all the really uncreative jokes that come with it and I was able to say, oh yeah, like having the last name "Frum" for instance.?.. Then Olive says one day she and her friends were laughing about G. Paltrow naming her daughter 'Apple' and mid-laughter the friends turned to her and said, "uh, what are you laughing about?"

Man, this post is getting long, and I really only started it to put off studying for my driver's test that I have tomorrow (we're destined for a good story there).

Saturday night Orla and Neville babysat Katie (thanks guys!!) while we went to two comedy shows put on as a part of the internationally renowned annual "Cat Laughs" Comedy festival. The first show was a stand-up named Josie Long, she is English and she didn't sell tickets for her show, you had to go online and answer some questions and she picked out the people she wanted in her audience. I think of Groucho Marx in a situation like this as he quipped, "I refuse to join a club that would have me as a member." Because as I was filling out the questionnaire a few weeks ago, I was thinking "Man, this would be so cool if she picked me, but I'm sure she wont out of all the entries...oh well..." But then, the other day when I got the congratulatory email I thought, "Man, this show is probably really going to suck. She probably isn't funny. I guess I was the only one who filled out the form so she had to pick me." But we went anyway, it was a full house, and she was really funny and used our answers in her routine so we were included. On the questionnaire she'd asked what was the best anagram our name would make (I think this was the reason she picked me) so before the show, she passed out name tags; one had the submitter's name on it (Malinda Walsh) and the other, the anagram for our guest to wear (Mild Anal Wash). Manus was less than impressed.

The second show of the night was an Improv show (Like the tv show "Who's Line is it Anyway?") and I laughed until I cried. Man those guys were good! It brought me back to the Gainesville days, going on Thursday nights to the Purple Porpoise to watch Joe Tex and ACII perform. They were really great too. I think some of those guys are still doing it too, in different cities around the states, so if you ever get a chance to see a comedy improv show, DO IT!

Sunday: Up early, walk around town looking for breakfast. Ordered pancakes, got crepes. "things are different here". Went to mass with Manus (again received a "that is the best baby!" comment on our way out!!). Home, family nap, watched sports on TV, got KFC to appease Manus' fried chicken craving. No mac n' cheese - can you believe it? What is the point of going there then? ("T.A.D.H.")

Okay, that's it. Better get back to learning what side of the road to drive on. Wish me luck for tomorrow.

2 comments:

Clodagh said...

Malinda

Good luck with your test tomorrow, you will be fine. I had my theory test a few weeks ago(and got 48 out of 50, most likely the best score I have ever had!!) and I now have my practical in two weeks. I some how dont feel the luck of the Irish will be on my side for that one! Simon bought me a Nintendo DS brain train at the weekend ( I dont know if he is trying to tell me something) and as of last night I have the brain age of a 72 year old.( I had had 3 glasses of wine before hand) I knew things were bad but that is F****** ridiculous. At this rate Esme will be feeding me puree before I cant get her to chew!!

Anonymous said...

I want to read Cedar's blog!!!