Thursday, July 24, 2008

Sleeping Beauty and other misleading fairy tales

ahhh. yawn, stretch...Oh! Well! Good morning.. what day is it? In my bigger than life super dooper bed Ive been doing so much sleeping my blogging has drastically reduced. Have I been asleep since last Friday? groan..mumble..stretch

While Rip Van Winkle slept his beard grew and grew. Like him, my follicles were in overdrive.

In the words of my favorite utha-mutha, Carolee Perrin, "I can feel my leg hairs blowing in the breeze!"

Gee Leslie, you sure were right! NOT. So help me, if you jinxed me you can just consider yourself OUT of my will. That's right, you can just kiss your sweet $1.87 good-bye.

I still can't sleep. I can't get comfortable and I can't shut up the voices in my head. They aren't like the devil voices telling me to poison my husband's tea or anything like that (yet...) It's just me, my voice rambling on and on and on about nothing. I guess that is apropos for me, huh?!

And song lyrics! I get a song stuck in my head and it plays over and over and over.

For the last two nights my hips have been aching so badly. Its a deep, dull thud of an ache and it only seems relieved when I have my hips totally flexed. So I end up trying to sleep Katie-style; knees tucked up under me and ass in the air. That would work fine if. I. didn't. want. to. breathe. What is it that is pushing itself up into my chest space? Oh yes, my gut.. when did that get there?

According to WebMD at 3 a.m. aching hips are not a diagnostic symptom for any form of cancer or any other slow, drawn-out, tragic fatal illness. So, of course, that only proves one thing:

WebMD is not to be trusted.

My silver lining: I discovered two great things about English satellite television at 4 a.m. One, Dr. 90210 is on and they don't blur out the boobies. (which is ironic because they bleep the word "ass" on Scrubs here- which is my favorite show now and I can watch it anytime between 6 am and midnight because it is on ALL DAY LONG on Paramount Comedy One and Two, channels 126 and 127 for all you Sky subscribers out there) btw, my friend Leslie once told me that I was a female Zack Braff and I took offense. But I dont anymore. He is comic genius. And he dated Mandy Moore. That ups his status in my book. That's like saying I could land a gal like Mandy too... yeah, righteous. And second magical discovery, The Sarah Silverman Show. I've known that I like her comedy for some time now. My cousin Ali took me to see her live in Miami Beach. If I hadn't had those two martinis at dinner right before I'm sure I would have told you how great the show was. Its all a blur to me now... But Id never seen her TV show and now I have and if I am going to be awake at 4 o'clock in the morning from this day forward, so be it. I will watch that show every morning and reaffirm that I have meaning in my life.

p.s. Jimmy, whatever you did to make my Sarah sad, undo it and get back together. please. for us kids...

Speaking of songs playing incessantly in my head, there is a song out there and I don't know the name of it. I don't know who sings it. I, in fact, don't even know any of the lyrics. I woke up one morning with a tune in my head and hummed it for Manus, he confirmed that I didn't dream it but couldn't name it either. I have been listening to the radio 24/7 and scouring top 40 lists and the ITunes store for best sellers trying to find it to no avail. And now I can't even get the melody in my head. So, if you hear my song, jot down the name of it - and let me know...

We are going to London for Katie's cousin Esme's christening. Will be back Tuesday. Don't worry, I'll take lots of pictures. You wont miss a thing.


Anonymous said...

So you hummed it and Manus recognized it? Impressive!

Leslie said...

But I was SO counting on that almost $2 for my retirement! My advice, assign Manus a Katie responsibility night at least once a week and pop in an Ambien. I mean really, he should be willing to take on a minimum of 3-4 nights when I think about how sweet and snuggly your overall attitude and sense of well being must be at this point :)

Anonymous said...

HEY! Wake up and get blogging!!!!