Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Betty Crocker Homemaker of the Year

Today's post has to be a brief one I'm afraid, as today I am cleaning the house. I know! I'm as shocked as you are, now climb back up into your chair. I'm just taking a breather now while the floors are wet. You know you are supposed to mop those things?And with water? I'm on a roll, though. Next thing you know I'll be making a casserole and knitting baby booties.

One of the women in playgroup today asked me if I'd knit Katie's pink Old Navy hoodie. Now, I dunno, maybe that was meant to be a compliment, but I think in the States that is an insult, isn't it? "Oh, how cute... did'ja make that yourself?, you know it's got that real homemade look to it." Now, mom - don't get into a tizzy like thin lizzy, I don't mean like the stuff you sew. Like those scrub tops? I always got compliments on them and then when I'd say my mom made them, they would be like, "no way!" and I'd be all, "Way". But that's just it; the compliment was in the person thinking that it was store bought. That a real machine had made it. (hmm, and why is that a compliment, again?)

I'd like to bring you back now to an earlier post on Sniglets. I was thinking about them today and how no one seems to care about them. But they are so necessary. Take for example,

Carperpetuation (kar-pur-pet-you-ay-shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

You know everyone has done it, and there has never been a word for it. How can we ignore that injustice?

I needed that word today because as I was vacuuming (I know!!) the kitchen I came upon a cheerio that just wouldn't get sucked up. And I actually stepped on it to crush it so that I could then hoover up the crumbs. I couldn't believe it for a moment that I'd actually done that instead of picking the damn thing up, but no... And you know what, it worked like a charm so, when I came across those other two cheerios....

I'll have to keep Manus away from this site today, tell him I didnt have time to post or something cause then he'll know all my dirty cleaning secrets (hehe, dirty clean). Like I just couldn't have him stumbling onto my 'mouthwash-down-the-sink' technique for making the whole room smell minty clean.

You mean I was supposed to move the kitchen chairs, not just mop around each of the legs?

Ha! I kid (wink, wink) You know, even after all this time, Manus doesn't always know when I'm joking (see sarchasm on Sniglets page) and that's bad, you know, cause I truly and seriously love him and love my life and, sure I kid and tease Ireland, but it knows that I'm only yanking its chain. I am happy. (maybe the meds have kicked in).

But that leads me to my closing thoughts. Again, I refer back to a prior post when, in the way of "if a tree falls", I ask you; If I make a joke and I'm the only one who laughs, is it still funny?

'Cause Manus says no but I'm looking for a consensus.


Clodagh said...

Malinda, I feel your pain, try getting a rice cake off the floor (carpet is a b*****d).Stand on them and they just deflate and stick even more!!!!

Caroline said...

Malinda, take it from me, you are really a funny, funny, funny girl! I'm sure I am not the only one who looks forward to your blog (I know, my life is pathetic) to make me smile and laugh out loud!

Rossana said...

hey melinda! sarah was reading your blog at my house and she forwarded it to me. i hope you don't mind! i was so intrigued by this american girl in kilkenny that i've now killed 44 minutes of my "wedding workout" time to read about your urine and cake misadventures. i love it!! its good to see you are so happy there.

Debbie said...

Well, of course the joke would still be funny :-)

xandra said...

you are always funny and never not funny