Tuesday, May 20, 2008

E! THS: The truth about Katie

While Katie isn't famous or in rehab somewhere (yet), E! found the sham of a blog I sent out yesterday detailing Katie's birthday and decided that the truth must be told....

This is E! True Hollywood, (FL) Story : The Truth about Katie

What started out as a few innocent drinks with friends to celebrate the big 0-1 soon devolved into such debauchery, few can stomach the details...

Our crack team of undercover investigators snapped these photos of Katie's binging. She was confronted with the evidence, but...
She refused to listen. A source close to Katie is quoted as saying, "She refused to listen".

And 'the drink' wasn't all Katie had gotten into. She'd discovered.... sweets.

As we know all too well, sugar is often called 'the gateway drug' and in this case, sadly, it appears that it is true. While we haven't been able to verify the authenticity of the following image, we believe these things were going on right under the very noses of those who claim they love little Katie the most.
All this partying began to lead to some strange behavior

But she was living the life...

She drove fast cars and hung out with SUPER smokin-HOT women. And I mean really good-looking, model types.

Unfortunately, her indulgences ran on the extravagant side, and there was a short time when she had resort to showing some skin to score her next fix.

But even this wasn't enough to convince her to slow down.

She was at the height of her birthday partying when her whole world came crumbling down.

She was arrested for speeding and driving under the influence of birthday cake. She tried to talk her way out of it. Witnesses claim she was furious, shouting taunts and insults to the arresting officers. "You'll never get away with this... Don't you know how cute I am?" she was reported to have said.

However convincing Katie's arguments may have been, the photo evidence was damning. She just could not walk a straight line.

Her mug shots reveal just how her night in the fast lane had taken it's toll.

And THAT, my friends, is the truth. The whole sordid affair. The reason behind Katie's sudden "taking ill". Now you may ask, why then weren't her parents quick to heed the warnings and avoid being holed up in the crapper for two days? Well, as someone who knows them well has said, "Those two would let a toddler party by herself. They are much too thoughtful to do that." The pair declined to comment.

Well folks, there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. Katie is clean (diapered) and sober (looking) now for nearly 24 hours. No more vomitus maximus and she is said to be 'DI-Reee' free.
She was spotted grocery shopping with her mother and standing (yes, for about 10 seconds) in the castle park this afternoon.
She is getting on with her life. She is happy and thanks all those who sent their love and support. It is rumored that she has even begun talking to someone to work through her pain...


Kristy Hajimihalis said...

Absolutely hilarious! I don't know what else to say... You are a wild bunch!

Clodagh said...

LOL :) :) :)

Leslie said...

You really have to be the most ridiculous and completely hysterical person I have ever (and yes I do indeed mean EVER) met!! I appreciate the strength is must have taken as a mother to confront Katie's 'issues' with such open honesty. You really are helping someone out there, someone who just needs to know they are not alone...LOVE YOU!

Debbie said...

LOL...I'm so glad she has someone to talk to about this. That is so important. Emma secretly admires Katie's "lifestyle." I think we're in trouble.